The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in bokeh Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or bokeh sex worker.

Now, memek porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the bokeh chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, porn and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional crot basis, bokep they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, crot and bokep that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, crot where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex memek – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris